I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the loss of roots and the loss of pieces of one’s history. What impact does this have on a soul? How does it affect our ability to understand, embrace, and love ourselves? How does it affect our ability to dream? To strive? To achieve?

Earlier this year, I watched the Hulu series, Mrs. America, about the women fighting to pass the Equal Rights Amendment and the women who blocked this amendment from getting the votes it needed. The series depicted the conflicts within the women’s movement around race, sexual orientation, who was centered…

Voices of Grief

I miss your voice

Your voice warm and low full of melody and bass made ripples of warmth under my skin, made me blush even when I didn’t want you anymore.

I miss your voice sharing joys and worries loving our kids. I miss your voice barging in uninvited, talking about yourself incessantly in my kitchen seeking approval, making amends with acts of service, with your labor…

Your voice speaking “as you wish”

Your voice crushed me at time cracking with tears of regret that I never fully trusted — regret never strong enough to keep it…

This week, I took my 13 year old to see a therapist, per her request. I was grateful she could advocate for herself needing some help navigating life as she approaches 8th grade with the unique challenges of our current situation as a country, and her own personal challenges she’s dealing with. As we pulled into the neighborhood of the therapist’s office, in a neighborhood just ten miles away, but full of old, large, million dollar homes, and gorgeous tree-lined streets, my daughter turns to me and says,

“This is my kind of living. I love how this looks. When…

Reclaiming Joy After Heartache

I have learned that my life can change at any time without my permission.

When your life shifts from underneath you, and your heart is breaking, it can feel like joy is something reserved for others. When you have fallen into the false belief that your joy is dependent on a particular outcome, and you cannot seem to make that outcome materialize as you had envisioned, your first response is the kind of despair that threatens to swallow you up. In these moments, you forget that you don’t believe in a God that pulls puppet strings…

Last week, my 19 year-old daughter, who is home from college, emerged from her room to show me a Twitter thread she had just discovered. The thread, “EMU Predators Exposed”, was flooded with faces of men and stories written by women detailing how these guys had assaulted them. I sucked in air.

My first feeling was fear for these guys. I mean anyone could say anything, right? It’s anonymous. Someone could just have a grudge, put their picture here, and ruin their life.

Then, I began reading. Most of the guys were repeated. Same guy, similar story, different victim. The…

Control of the Narrative is Shifting; White Men are Grasping

As the protests over the murder of George Floyd spread and turned into a worldwide movement, I noticed a disturbing trend with many of the white men posting on social media. They seemed at first to be voicing support for the movement, but then kept adding caveats. As in, “I support the protesters, but not the looting and violence.” Or, “I support the protesters, but I still think kneeling during the anthem is disrespectful to the flag.” NFL Quarterback Drew Brees drew flack this week for similar comments. He, too…

Good. Let that shit burn.

That was my internal response to seeing the Minneapolis police station up in flames.

This is not a typical response for me. I am an advocate of civil disobedience, nonviolent action, the peaceful protest.

But like everyone else who is able to see the truth and the poison of systemic racism in our country, I am tired and angry and feel powerless to change things. The peaceful protests don’t seem to be enough to make change. The looting was understandable to me, but the fire — the fire…. now that was inspired.

We have watched…

Recovery, Psychedelics, Meditation and Spirituality: Lessons Learned from Hallucinogens.

As person with over 20 years of recovery from alcohol and drug addiction, I know at my core that mood and mind alternating substances ultimately led me to “pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization” — a hell to which I never wish to return. I also know that what I was seeking when I discovered drugs and alcohol was meaningful and valid.

I always sensed that there was more to life than was on the surface. I felt the truths — both harsh and beautiful — that lay just beneath the carefully constructed…

When I tell people I am a high school English teacher, they often respond in awe and sympathy. They begin talking about how bad kids are today compared to the past. They make clucking noises and rattle on about stories they have heard from their friend’s daughter about the disrespectful youth she encounters in the classroom. Some of my colleagues I’ve taught with over the years are also drawn to this viewpoint. They complain about the disrespect they feel they encounter each day at school. According to them, teaching was much easier 20 years ago. They paint a picture of…

In the past several weeks, as I’ve spent more time on social media, I’ve been confused and enraged reading posts of acquaintances and strangers alike, who seem to reject the information being presented to them by educated scientists and doctors in favor of conspiracy theories by lay people. Additionally, I’ve gotten into arguments with people who deny systemic racism exists, and deny women are still not valued in our society and given the same respect as men. I’ve argued about the rights of immigrants, and about the man in the White House. …

Tara Lingeman

Seeker, Lover of Stories, Writer, and Teacher. Author of a memoir, and the new novel, Salamandra. Find @ https://linktr.ee/taraling

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